 "Well, Jimmy, why don't you sit back, and Grampa will tell you a story about the olden days, back when men were men and steak wasn't bad fer ya. A tale about fightin' dirty, lovin' quick, and always gettin' the first shot in during ..." The Extraction Wars (Mm, poetic license.) One of the "benefits" of being an elder statesman in this game is that you can remember all of the crazy, nonsensical things that have happened as Magic sets have come and gone. You get to wax poetic about the times you played Stompy (with Winter Orbs!) during Necro Summer, or how you tried to play Fish with maindeck Arcane Labs during Combo Winter. (True story.) And you get to talk about (or sometimes pull out) cards and talk about the good old days. With Alara Reborn on the horizon, I'm doing a little waxing myself -- but not about one of those long-lost days of base sets past. No, this time I'm thinking about Champions-time-frame Standard. Although, now, looking at it, that IS a long time ago, I guess. I'm thinking about it because I see, in the immediate future, a return to the Extraction Wars. When Cranial Extraction was around the first time, oftentimes control-on-control matchups would devolve into "who cast Cranial Extraction first," and the choice was almost always to strip out your opponent's Extractions to make sure that your next one carried real weight. And with the spoiling of the upcoming Alara Reborn card called Thought Hemorrhage, I anticipate reliving a little bit of the past.
And see? How quickly my thought process devolved straight into assuming that any deck that COULD play Thought Hemorrhage, WOULD play it, thereby necessitating that you strip theirs out before they get to play one. I don't think it will be that easy. I mean, my grandma could properly play Cranial Extraction number one. Something tells me Thought Hemorrhage might require a little more ... finesse. That being said, as a former Mono-Black Control player who has now seen the ways and joys of playing a second color in his control decks, I start to ponder how good red-black control might be after Alara Reborn makes its impact. Terminate? Thought Hemorrhage? Standard still has copious amounts of discard, Bitterblossom, and you know, I'm not hating Mr. Gold Abyss as much as I was originally.
4 Thoughtseize 4 Bitterblossom 4 Beseech the Queen 4 Terminate 4 Volcanic Fallout 4 Blightning 1 Thought Hemorrhage 1 Pithing Needle 1 Banefire 2 Liliana Vess / Scepter of Fugue 4 Dusk Urchins 2 Defiler of Souls 1 Oona, Queen of the Fae 24 lands Thrown together list is thrown together. But I like it. It misses Damnation, obviously, but it has a lot of the elements of the deck that I played at Regionals LAST year. Oooh, Demigod is still available, maybe I should play that instead of that goofy Defiler. Oh yeah. Stoopid Path to Exile.  The Cutback So, for the first time in a long time, Wizards has really cut back on the amount and nature of spoilers hitting the Internetz. Everything, every little morsel so far, has been controlled, measured, and dished out like we were contestants on The Bigger Magic Spoiler Loser, and we needed to cut back in a big way. Well, I personally like being fat. I know what you're thinking. "Dave, you're not fat, you're robust. Big-boned, as it were." (Well, you're right of course.) But back to the matter at hand. Wizards apparently thinks it can get by on dishing out a couple of tasty morsels, or maybe that the all-gold set will somehow command more interest than Any Other Magic Gimmick. But what have we seen, really? About half of the Mythic Rares, half of which are destined for junk rare status like half of the other Mythics. Rumors of Meddling Mage being reprinted? In a block where the power level of uncommons has been pushed to its absolute breaking point, we are getting almost nothing about any tournament-playable cards that aren't going to run between $8 and $25. We aren't seeing any of the filler. In short, we know NOTHING about this set. Aside from the fact that it's all gold cards. I understand the desire to have control of your publicity materials. I think what I'm saying is that starving us in this manner is akin to quitting smoking cigarettes cold turkey -- it's hard as &#%$. It's why they make patches and gum and smoking cessation programs and pens and all manner of other commercially-viable nicotine-free options -- because, given the choice, most people are too weak to just up and quit, cold turkey. Had they weaned us down in nice gradual steps, I doubt that I'd have this reaction. But I also understand that that's not a practical way to approach this problem from Wizards' end. But I'm jonesin', man. [Ed: I think that's exactly what they want...] Speaking of Meddling Mage, about the only thing that's not leaked out of Wizards but is being taken as "fact" around the Internetz is that Alara Reborn will feature the reprinting of one little Meddler. Meddling Mage marks the second time Wizards has reprinted one of the Invitational cards -- Shadowmage Infiltrator was in the Timeshifted portion of Time Spiral, and showed up here and there as an efficient card-drawing tool. But Meddling Mage? Really? Betweeen Pikula and Cranial Extraction, this format just got a lot more knowledge-intensive. What do you name with Meddling Mage against the big decks? What do you name with Thought Hemorrhage? Anybody playing in PTQs, Regionals, or a Grand Prix in a Pacific Northwestern state are going to have a handle on not just their own deck, but also the top four to eight other decks out there, if you're playing with one of these cards. Please, one of you, Conley preferably, generate a textbook primer once these cards come out and we get the full picture of their impact on Standard society. Sorry, "The Unbeatable Format-Breaking Conley Woods." There, I've fulfilled my once-per-column Conley name drop. That was close. Sign my Swans?  A little late to discuss any real impact from this, but here it is, for what it's worth. I contemplated going with "We all suck" (the definitive final word on Colorado Springs' performance at the last PTQ) but I thought I'd instead go with this one: "Sweet. Thanks. No one seems to have Words lol" This, dear readers, is what we call "cause and effect." This was the return SMS after I put together a loaner package for a Springs player (who shall remain nameless, but whose intials are Rick Ashby) who was going to play Enduring Ideal in the PTQ. Dual lands have never been so misused; heck, even the Japanese Pentad Prisms looked at me kinda sadly as I put them in the stack, as if to say, "We were comfortable in the box, now we're going to a less happy place." In a format with not one, not two, but arguably THREE faster combo decks, all of which aren't dead to some random enchantment removal and don't cut off their own flexibility, why would you play Enduring Ideal? (I did contemplate drawing little sad frowny-faces on those Pentad Prisms. But I would have missed seeing Rick's face when he got them, so I'll save that gag for another time when he's borrowing cards in person.) No one seems to have Words. Oh, I got words, they just aren't fit to print in a family-friendly column like this one. (You'll remember I used punctuation marks to faux-swear earlier in the article. Gotta keep it clean for the kiddies.) I expect that Enduring Ideal was a decent decktype, at one point. Unfortunately, that "one point" was back when the Invasion saclands were around, when you could Chant your opponent to prevent any interaction, and before we had a Tier-1 deck that prominently features countermagicks. Heck, I bet the combo decks in the format are THANKFUL when you fetch out an enchantment after spending all that mana. "Whew! I thought you were going to impact the game there for a minute!" And then it kills you. I'm sure Rick meant well, and probably doesn't deserve my teasing here. And I'd hate to stifle innovation, because I know Rick is capable of putting together a lot of good thoughts. But this is the SMS of the Week section, and you gets what you gets. Want something better? Send me a better SMS. Less than a week to the Pre-Release! Getting excited. If you see me either day, and want to say "Hi", play some EDH (I will have two!), or kick me in the punctuation marks, feel free! I'm approachable. Or so I've been told. (ok, not the kicking) -- dave |
